Wednesday, August 13, 2014

My heart is bigger than the distance in between us

There are just a lof of things to do and to talk about in social medias rather than about love thingy. I choose not to tweet about my love life and though I only talk about it here, most of the time I try not to. Some people can be proud of loving someone that they publicize it, while I don't. It's not that I am against the idea of people publicizing their relationships, it's just that I am not into showing it off. To me, what happens between me and him is between me and him. I know that sometimes he's shy of admitting our relationship to people. And I know too well that he's dumb in this thing, like how low his common sense as a boyfriend is, but that's not what matters cause all that I know, is that he loves me. And I don't need to second guess. We are not like other couples, who talk to each other 24/7, who often go on dates. We only catch things up on weekends, or once in every two weeks. He's not on the same land I'm standing so we probably only see each other at most 5 times in a year. Or two. Last year I only got to see him once. And that was after almost a year of not seeing each other. This is absurd and I have had tough times accepting how this long distance relationship works, I still am. But I don't have other choice.

I don't know where this post is going. I'm only writing this down because I cannot take seeing a girl crying over my boyfriend anymore. It's crazy how I have to read all of her heartbroken tweets on my timeline. It just doesn't feel right, I pity her. Somehow, I am not mad at her because loving someone isn't a wrong thing to do. And she has known him longer than I do so she probably knows him better. But to hell with it, I don't mind not knowing him now because many years are ahead of us. I don't want to compete with her because this is so not a competition. Of course I'm mad at her for talking to my boyfriend, for going out with him once, for being his best friend. But not for having feelings for him. No one has the power to stop her from doing so because I know how loving someone could hurt you. I know that feeling so I don't want her to feel the same. It hurts, it fucking hurts I know. But damn it, he's my boyfriend.

I don't wanna be a girlfriend who bitches about the girl who's likely to ruin my relationship by telling her to back off. But I swear girl, if he didn't love me, I would have given him up for you. I'd make way for you you can have him all you want, but that's not what's happening right now. It's too late to undo all of these things. We are already in too deep in our world.

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